The importance of managing ego for the better self.

We should all be well aware that, where to apply our ego and where not. That’s called managing ego. The control part comes when our ego is hurt and we are looking to regain ego. There we should control our feelings and act wisely.

“Though ahaṃkāra is generally a state of illusion, once in that state, Vak tattva (one of the 36 tattvas) can appear. When it does, then, for the first time, individual will, determination, a sense of morality and ethics come into play – which is the first step on the path to spiritual development/enlightenment. Without a sufficiently harmonious and powerful ahaṃkāra (personality), it is thought to be impossible to exert the level of effort necessary to accede to a higher spiritual level.

The position of ahaṃkāra and buddhi are sometimes presented in reversed order because, as the principle of “I-ness”, ahaṃkāra is allowed control over the manas (sensorial mind) and buddhi (superior intellect, intuition). Yet, buddhi is a superior tattva, and ahaṃkāra is thus only able to be in a superior position to buddhi from a functional point of view. From an absolute point of view, ahaṃkāra is created by buddhi and thus subordinate to it.”

Wikipedia

Further reading:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ahamkara

Copyright: Text (except the Wikipedia text) is licensed to Robin Mathew Rajan under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/.

 

girl-rejecting-proposal

My love story – First and failed proposal to a girl. An autobiography.

girl-rejecting-proposal

It was my 10th class. I was 17 years of age. Year was 2006-2007. That girl was my neighbour and I used to borrow note books from her when I missed to attend the school.

One day, she started to stare at me for making eye contact! You know that girlish type of stare!

At first I avoided that. But she continued to stare at me even when teacher was in classroom and actively teaching. She was very brilliant not to catch teacher’s attention while staring.

After a month of continued eye contact, I decided to propose her. I think most of guys would do the same.

I’m a great planner then and now too. I wrote very long paragraphs about how to propose her. That time, I didn’t have any Internet connection to research more about female psychology.

One day, I gathered all my courage and tried to propose her. Because it was my first time, all my written paragraphs on proposing gone in vain and none came off because of my anxiety. Anyhow, I managed to tell ‘I love you’ to her. She then left me without even looking at me or replying me.

The next day onwards she again began to stare at me. Because I’m a fool, I thought she was worried to reply me when I proposed her. Her staring continued and finally that academic year was over.

We both passed and got promoted to 11th class.

Because I’m a fool again, in the newly promoted 11th class, I chose the same subject which she chose just to sit in the same class room with her. There too she continued the old staring.

I decided to propose her one more time. After the school in the evening, with all my courage, I proposed her once more. There she replied. But it was not a positive one, but a negative.

She said, “If this happens one more time, I’ll tell to my parents!” She then left.

On arriving at her home, she told everything to her parents. She’s is a rich girl and I’m little poor one.

On hearing the note, her mother got worried and came to my house the next day itself. I was not at home that time. My mother had to hear all the rubbish things her mother said, instead of me.

Because her father and brother are gentlemen, they didn’t come to scold me with her mother.

Now the real character of her starts to reveal.

The next day, I went to school. She was there at the other end of the class room. Teacher was teaching, and right there, she started to stare at me! That old staring!

I got very angry and ‘aphonically’ whispered some swear words. You know, without making the sound, we move our lips to say something, right? That way I expressed my anger. I think she got what I said, but she didn’t care.

Now her real identity was starting to reveal. Earlier, it was only her who was staring at me. Now her full bunch of girl gang started to stare at me. Not just her girl gang in the class room, but most of her girl gang in other class rooms of the school also started to make fun of me. Because of that, I had fewer female friends in my 11th and 12th classes.

I can accept the mindset of her and her friends making fun of me. But how about her mother too started to make fun of me with her elderly female friends?

The mindset of a 16 year old girl and a 40 year old lady should be different right? But here, her mother too started to make fun of me!

After sometime, she withdrew making eye contacts with me after I continuously started to avoid her eye contacts. But the fun making with her female friends continued.

Months passed. She revealed this incident to her one of her male friend. That male friend of her was a bully at school especially towards me. She knew that and yet she told him the incident.

Her male friend came and started to beat me. Because he was strong, he overpowered me.

Some nice male friends of mine pushed him back and tried to stop the beating and calm the situation. He got cooled off after my male friends convinced him.

She was watching all this and she didn’t do anything to stop this mess. That was she.

I hate such type of females who make two men collide with each other without a valid cause. She told the incident to her parents. And that issue got over when her mother came to my house. Fine! Normal thing, no issues!

But what was the reason to tell her friend about the proposing incident even after several months after her mother came to my house? Clearly, the guardian of her is not her friend, but it’s her parents and relatives right? I can understand when parents and relatives come to ask about the incident. They have to ask and they did the right thing. But I can’t understand the credibility of an outsider like her friend to ask about the incident occurred, even after her parents already did the asking part.

I called off all relations with her after that incident. And when we meet now in Bus Stops and other public places, we won’t talk or even smile at each other.

It was my honest love to her. I didn’t love her just for a time pass. But I was intended to marry her later if she agreed. But I just don’t exactly understand why she did this. Does she ever know how much pain she caused to me for her little fun? 10 years passed and now it is 2016. I still love her but I’m trying to move on. I’m looking for a geek girl from anywhere around the world to date/marry.

Many of my friends told me to do revenge. But I won’t do that because I believe revenge is not a wise thing to do. Ruining someone’s life is against my policies.

What should we call such females?

That is life I think! 🙁

Ladies and gentlemen, please don’t play with someone else’s feelings.

Copyright: Text is licensed to Robin Mathew Rajan under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/.

 

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